Except when abuse is a factor, knowing when a divorce is the right move is often not an easy decision. Abuse can be verbal abuse, mental abuse or physical abuse. For those experiencing such unhealthy relationships, get out now. For everyone else though, there are factors to consider.
Breaking points
Of course, every couple has blow-up fights at one point or another where, in the back of one of the spouse’s mind, divorce seems like a reasonable option. However, big life decisions should rarely be made from such spaces of anger. Instead, think about the marriage holistically. Are these drag-out fights the norm, or one-offs? Is the marriage a partnership? Does the marriage make one’s life better or worse? These are all questions that should be explored in family and individual therapy to make sure that we do the work on ourselves and as a couple to find our happiness. Otherwise, whatever is hurting the current marriage may bleed into future relationships.
One puts in the work, but nothing changes
For those that have already put in the work, through marriage and individual counseling, but nothing has changed, it may be time to think about divorce. The key question is, has all reasonable and legitimate means of making the relationship work been utilized? Many couples, after a divorce, realize that they may have acted too quickly.
Intimacy
According to a study by the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, intimacy was the most common reason for divorce. A lack of intimacy was cited by nearly 50% of the study’s participants. And, this is not just sex, but also a sense of closeness, excitement and passion. Each person has an individual idea of intimacy and what they need, but, luckily, a lack of intimacy can be repaired. It can be as easy as having a frank and honest discussion about what the couple needs, or it may need professional intervention.
Even if divorce is the answer, stay amicable
For our Lawrenceville, Georgia, readers that decide to divorce, remember, stay amicable. This can mean keeping couples’ therapy going during the separation and divorce process. Stay civil, and when children are involved, keep their best interests at heart. This can go a long way to ensuring an amicable and affordable divorce, along with healthy co-parenting.
